Yep, this corner has been quiet for a little while, the writing side of my life took a backseat for a bit.
It's great how people try to help others, but there comes a point where you've done all you can. Either the person doesn't want, need, or is willing to accept the help you are offering. Even if none of that is true, you may have done all you can.
Some people have their own issues to deal with, but don't because it's easier to focus on anyone and everyone else. They will put all of their effort into helping or advising someone who seems like they have bigger problems then they do. My question- how does that help either of you?
Something I've learned, and in a lot of cases still learning, is that until you help yourself, you shouldn't be trying to help others. Think about when you're on a plane and the mask drops down for oxygen. What do they tell you to do? That's right, put your mask on first! (funnily enough, this is the exact example given to me when I needed to learn this).
Another side to this, if you are trying to help, and you've done all you can. At some point the other person has to help themselves, but right now they are relying on you instead of trying to improve their situation.
Everyone has demons, try and face yours first!
Monday, July 1, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
A Hard Lesson
Ever get feeling that if you make a decision about your life, people's view of you will change? Like you'll disappoint them? I seem to have this experience a lot....
As you go through life, you have all these people who help you reach your potential, who help you find who you are and who you want to be, and the list goes on. When you succeed, you know they are proud of you. It's at that you realize you don't want to disappoint them. It's almost like how you do is a reflection on them. The decisions you make will be judged by them.
Learning this one is hard, but give it a shot..... What you do, is only a reflection of you. Sounds crazy right? The idea that you're the maestro of your life, that can't be right.... If you allowed every person who entered and exited your life to tell you how to live it, would you be happy? Would you be doing what you wanted or what everyone else wanted you to do? Those who enter your life, and are meant to stay, shouldn't be directing you, but supporting you, giving advice and guidance, but letting you decide.
It's hard to imagine what that looks like, and when you experience it, you're not sure how to react. It's only when you learn that hard lesson that you realize you control your life and that while you've had a lot of help, you're the one that is going to make the decisions in your life.
You don't know if it's the right or wrong decision, and it really doesn't matter, because even if its the wrong one, there will be a way to make it the right one.
So yea, it's a hard lesson, one many are learning, including myself, as long as you are willing to learn it, the rest will fall into place.
As you go through life, you have all these people who help you reach your potential, who help you find who you are and who you want to be, and the list goes on. When you succeed, you know they are proud of you. It's at that you realize you don't want to disappoint them. It's almost like how you do is a reflection on them. The decisions you make will be judged by them.
Learning this one is hard, but give it a shot..... What you do, is only a reflection of you. Sounds crazy right? The idea that you're the maestro of your life, that can't be right.... If you allowed every person who entered and exited your life to tell you how to live it, would you be happy? Would you be doing what you wanted or what everyone else wanted you to do? Those who enter your life, and are meant to stay, shouldn't be directing you, but supporting you, giving advice and guidance, but letting you decide.
It's hard to imagine what that looks like, and when you experience it, you're not sure how to react. It's only when you learn that hard lesson that you realize you control your life and that while you've had a lot of help, you're the one that is going to make the decisions in your life.
You don't know if it's the right or wrong decision, and it really doesn't matter, because even if its the wrong one, there will be a way to make it the right one.
So yea, it's a hard lesson, one many are learning, including myself, as long as you are willing to learn it, the rest will fall into place.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A New Chapter
There are many cliches about life, especially when change is about to happen. One that gets me, "This is a new chapter in your life". For one thing, it is probably the most accurate, our lives are like books, and each section is broken down, childhood, teenager, young adult, adult, old age. And it has benchmarks like graduating high school or college, getting a promotion, joining the military, retiring. The list goes on. A lot of the scenes from the previous chapter will follow, they teach what to or not to do. They give insight and are good to regurgitate or relive with friends. These "chapters" are your life, you can't help but hold on to them.
However, like any book, there is always non-essential information that doesn't need to follow into the next chapter. It's not required to move the story along, and really it just holds it back. Those are the people, places, things, and moments that we realize should not continue, like a short story inside of a novel....at some point that crap has got to end.
As the authors and editors of our books and chapters, it's up to us to decide what is necessary for the next chapter and what is not; and the parts that are not necessary can stay as part of the story, because maybe it was essential in this chapter, but they need not be a part of the next one.
When you see the end of your current chapter appearing, do some editing....your story will be better off.
However, like any book, there is always non-essential information that doesn't need to follow into the next chapter. It's not required to move the story along, and really it just holds it back. Those are the people, places, things, and moments that we realize should not continue, like a short story inside of a novel....at some point that crap has got to end.
As the authors and editors of our books and chapters, it's up to us to decide what is necessary for the next chapter and what is not; and the parts that are not necessary can stay as part of the story, because maybe it was essential in this chapter, but they need not be a part of the next one.
When you see the end of your current chapter appearing, do some editing....your story will be better off.
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