Fear is a Pain

The first time you do something you've never done before, it's scary maybe even damn near terrifying. For some that feeling is what makes them feel alive, for others it stops them dead in their tracks.

The problem comes up when those fears could create problems in your career, or in your life. For some (myself included) the fear and uncertainty become less and less the more we do the same activity, but it never goes away. There will always be that pause before you jump, rappel, dive, etc. It never seems to completely go away, but what if it feels like its getting worse? Is it because you're putting yourself out there more (in my case an attempt at skydiving) and its just an just a lack of trust, confidence, fear, or all of the above?

The worst for me was the attempt at a tandem skydive (attempt because i never left the plane). I felt this rush hit me all over, felt like pins and needles, then my body basically controlled everything, I couldn't seem to control my breathing, which was very fast. It was the fight or flight method, my body didn't like the adrenaline rush so it reacted...at least that's my thinking. The part about this, I was fine until I was at the door of the plane about to exit and drop at about 120 miles an hour out of the sky from about 13,000 feet (then have a parachute open at about 6000). I was fine loading up, flying up, even cracked a few jokes...

Isn't that how it always goes though, everything is fine until you actually have to do it then you panic? Why is that? Why is that the 1st time I do something I freak out and sometimes don't finish, but when I go back I have this determination to get it right and go through with it? Why can't it just be a "go" on the first try?

Too many questions, not enough answers. All I know is that if I really want to be Airborne, I better get used to being up high...just need to figure out how to control my body instead of my body controlling me.