For All Keyboard Warriors

I sit here with my drink (number two, but by any normal drinker's standards it's probably number four). As I scroll through Facebook I see a lot of keyboard warriors. I see a lot of people willing to pass blame on a situation, change their profile picture, or post a long message about gun control, gay rights, terrorism, the election, and anything else. You all hide behind the keyboard, because it's safe there. You stand with the 1st amendment as your shield to spread your toxin among the masses. The advent of social media and 24 hour news cycles has turned an informed public into a group of lemmings willing to fall off of the cliff of their beliefs because the internet has shown them the "truth".

This is not a slight against those who choose to make their voice heard through social media. I implore that before you flex your fingers across the keyboard, think before you write, is your opinion yours? or that of a social media hoard sucking your brain out and making you join the cause. And if it is your opinion, do you have to post in a destructive, mean spirited, negative manner? Can you not give your opinion and not have a mental battle of wits with the fool on the other end of the internet?

I sit here and I watch this and I wonder why I no longer enjoy social media..... That and the ridiculous amount of cat pictures, get some dogs in there....

The grammar sucks, I've been drinking.

The Outlook

It's hard to find positivity in a pool of cynicism. Where I work for every positive thought there are five cynical ones. Among people who feel no joy in their work because they've been beaten down or saw their chosen profession as a means to an end.  It's hard to keep a positive outlook on a profession you were excited to join ,when you feel just as beaten down and fight to not join the cynicism.

It's a fight to maintain an outlook of positivity, it's a fight to maintain the identity I worked to find. For all the steps I've taken forward I feel like I've fallen behind. Maybe it's environmental as I've been told, or possibly old patterns repeating themselves. I keep fighting, but I know I'm losing myself again. 

I just need to dig deep and pull myself out.

Catch 22

It's been quiet in my corner of the world, at least on this page. To be honest, I haven't had much to say to the world. I expect nothing from what I write here, for a time it allowed me to vent, to give my thoughts, and to just go on about a topic that happened to be on my mind. Lately, I ask myself "what's the point?" I know it's an outlet, I've even been told I'm good at it, and as I said before I expect nothing from it. It just seems that it's not important, going to the idea that putting words to a page, those words should have a purpose. I guess I refused to see that they were serving a purpose to me.

I am, if nothing else, overly critical of what I put to paper or in anything really. So writer's block generally hits like a piano falling from the sky. I've lost that desire to write, to take pictures, to do much of anything because I ask the same question, "what's the point?" What I fight with is that it may have little relevance on anything, but it's still something I should do to keep myself sane. These things called hobbies, but I feel like I'm constantly judged for everything I do. And when you take a certain amount of criticism, even if it's not directed at the photography or the writing, but on your life choices, your job performance, etc  it feels worth it to just stop because if you don't write poetry, or an entry to a blog, or take a picture.... you can't be judged for that too. On the flip to the that, I can just hide it, not share it, but then my over criticism will just grow and I'll make myself feel worse.

I think I'm in the world's worst catch 22.